funny sms

  Dear Girls,

If A Guy Pauses His PLAY STATION
Just To Text You Back ..
Marry Him

. �Dear Boys,

If A Girl Ruins Her Wet NAIL
POLISH Just To Text You Back ..
Marry Her



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A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE
Demotion of Salman Khan
2009: Wanted: IPS
2010: Dabbang : Inspector
2011: Body Guard
Upcoming Films
2012: Security Guard
2013: Watchman
2014: Postman



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Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any. 1 :P



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It's very easy
To eat sweet chocolate,
Speak sweet words,
Watch sweet dreams
But
It's very difficult
To
find a sweet person.
But I salute you.
That you find me.




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Birds Birds in the sky dropped a pooty in my eye,
I dont worry I dont cry,
Im just happy that cows cant fly!




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Forward to you friends and get funny replies. . !
Imagine I am in jail
What you thinks that
What crime I had done
Reply must . . .




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Can we do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood.
Just a little bit of kissing and biting.

Reply me soon!

Yours lovingly.

"Mosquito".




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If I was an artist.
You would be my picture!.
If I was a poet.
You would be my inspiration!.
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I'm only a cartoonist




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Do you know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?

Both don't exist.




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DREAM
Makes all things Possible.
HOPES
Makes all things work.
LOVE
Makes all things beautiful.
SMILE Makes all the Above work Possible
So.
ALWAYS BRUSH YOUR TEETH.




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Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
And suddenly shouts: Up! Quick! My husband is back.

Man gets up, jumps out of the window
hurts himself, and then realizes:
Damn, I am the husband.




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Teacher :
What should be in a Book to make it a bestseller?
Tommy:
A girl on the cover
And
No cover on the girl.




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MBBS Final Exam
Question: Fill in the blanks.
If a lady faints, we must 1st check her PU_S_
Only few intelligent students wrote PULSE




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Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver and wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.




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World's shortest jokes :
Two Women sitting quietly!
Two pathan playing chess!
Girlfriend pays the bill.
Need more?!
You are so beautiful




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How does lazy people like you take bath during winter
they stand in front of a mirror
Throw water on the mirror
and say....Ohh marr gya itnna thanda paani




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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like to boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!




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Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
And
Those inside are desperate to come out..




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Bomb blast k baad Aadmi chilla raha tha O khudaya! Mera hath urh gaya
Pathan: hosla karo mat ro, daikho us Aadmi ka sar urh gaya hai,woh Bhi to chup ha.




*****************



In the hall of examination.
Supervisor: Why you wrote the formula on ur hand.
Student: Because my professor advice me that the formulas must be on ur finger tips.



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Out of four people one is Chinese. If ur father, ur mother and ur brother are not Chinese, then it must be YOU.



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Eik Baar Terrorist na Burhia Ky Pas Bomb Rakh Diyaaa.
Log Chillaye
Budhiya Bomb,
Budhiya Bomb
Woh Sharmae aur Boli
Wou to Main Jawane Main thi




*****************



Wives are like Incoming Calls
Lovers are like Outgoing Calls
Aunties are like toll free Calls
Call girls are like Roaming Calls
Neighbor Girls are like Missed Calls




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A boy goes to sees a dance.
His mom angrily asks him:
Did you sees anything there that You were not supposed to see?

Boy: yea, I saw dad there!




*****************



Hitler says,
there is no word likes IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya faidah?
Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na



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BEST OF FUN SMS

· Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hha ha ho ho ho ho ho oh oh oh ooh ohh eh eh he he hhe he he hee he he hha ha ho ho ho ho he he he......... KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI.... ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho.....

· Aapki yaad me mene kalam uthai,lia kagaz, tasvir apki banayi, socha tha dil se laga ke rakhe us tasvir ko, par wo toh bacchon ko darane ke kaam aayi...

· Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho. Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho. Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho ?

· Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof. Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

· Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance. Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy. Stupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair. Stupid Man + Stupid Woman = Marriage !

· When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

· If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!...

· Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

· When i was sad you were there. When i was crying you were there. When i was unhappy you were there. Now i have understood ki sare fasad ki jad tu hai..

· Aisi dosti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har safar mein mile. Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi dosti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein mile

· Har des ki ek sarhadd hoti hai , bache ki bhi ek zidd hote hai aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka, Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai

· 1 - message - received - 1 - cute - person - sent - it - 1 - monkey - is - reading - it - 1 - monkey - is - angry - 1 - monkey - is - still - reading - 1 - monkey - wil 4ward - dis - msg - to - anodr - monkey !

· why do monkeys love banana.... - oops i am so sorry ........ - thats your personal matter!

· I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u". Hey! Don't get excited, I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z !

· I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because Meneka Gandhi says "Love Animals" !

· VERY ... Cute, Gorgeous, Genius, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in Trillions.. I think its enough abt ME, wht abut U....

· God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

· The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

· Aey Mere SMS Mere Dost ke Pass Jana... Agar wo so Raha ho to Shor Mat Machana, Jab WO jage to Dhire Se'MuskaranA' Fir Kehna "KANJUS"SMS Karo!

· ss!w ! n ss!w ! - n ss!w ! n ss!w - ! n ss!w ! n - ss!w ! n ss!w ! - n ss!w ! got confused? be smart then... - just turn ur cell upside down.

· This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

· how much is - 1+1=? - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - are you looking for the answer?? - shame on you.

· i'd luv 2 take u 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear - "pay the bill "!

· this time i'm - sure and i'm - gonna ask it... - - d - do - do u - do u l - do u lu - do u luv - do u luv me - - - do u luv meat or u r pure veg....

Without LOVE, dayz are “Sadday, Moanday,Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shatterday”. So fall in Love… Happy Valentine’s Week.

Clouds r white but the sky is blue, monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry u’ll find me there too, not in the cage but laughing at u.

Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you… I wish that someday I’d dream about my pillow and I’d be hugging you

Life is Short, Live it!Love is Small, Flirt it!Troubles are Momentary, Face it!Memories are Sweet, Cherish it!I’m too Good, Accept it!

Boy: i can kiss u without even touching u.
Girl: No,u cant.
Boy: lagi 20 20 rupey ki
Girl: ok(boy kisses tightly)
Girl: u touched me!
boy: ye lo 20 rupey

Aapko miss karna..roz ki baat hai. Yaad karna.. aadat ki baat hai. Aap se duur rehna.. kismat ki baat hai. Magar aap ko jhelna.. himmat ki baat hai.

Socha tha har mod pe tumhara intezaar karenge, par kambakt sadak hi seedhi nikli

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho….. Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho….. Kitni aasani se Jaan le lete ho….. Kisi ne sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamine ho ?

Bachelor’s schedule… Monday ko dosti ; Tues ko pyar ; Wed ko shaadi ; Thus ko barbadi ; Fri ko fighting ; Sat ko talaq ; Sun ko rest, Mon ko phir se talash….

A Smile is the Lighting system of the Face, Cooling system of Heart, Booting system of Mind, So keep Smiling always. Goodnight.

Why do we close our eyes when v prey, when v cry, when v dream, when v kiss??? B’coz the most BEAUTIFUL things in life r not seen but felt by the HEART!!!

Feeling Bored? THINK OF ME
Feeling Sad? CALL ME
Feeling Lonely? SEE ME
Feeling Sleepy? DREAM OF ME

 

BEST OF MISLEADING SMS

EYES: to look at u.HAND: to pray for u.MIND: to remember u.HEART: to make friendship with u.and LEG: to kick u if u forget me....So alkways remeber me!!!

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

why do donkey eat grass?
.....??
......????
...........????????
oooooooppppsssss!!!! i'm sorry. it's ur personal matter.

good morning.......
have u done 2 of thae most important things when u woke up today????
1) pray , so that u may live long
2) take a bath so that other can live long......

no visits..........
no calls...........
no missed calls........
no sms............
no mails...............
i m worried..........u r in jail again???

Dil chahata hay, tum say milnay ko dil chahata hay, tum ko daikhnay ko dil chahata hay, mager ye stupid gate ceeper kia keh raha hay.....................aaj zoo band hay???

Hi sweetheart,
Doing nothing?
Then make aplace 4 me in ur Heart!
I may come there any time!
Ur's faithfully
"HEART ATTACK!"

CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play,throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces....

What is the height of Flirting?
When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN".

The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours, 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born until you fall in love and malfunctions after getting married.

FOOL se FOOL ne FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya, u r the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL, and wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS.

Pyar karnewale Pareshan ho jate hai, shadi karnewale Sharabi ban jate hai.Divorse dene wale Devdas ban jate hai.Hum se Dosti karane wale, SMS expert ho jate hai

When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!

Qualities a friend must have: Cute as crocodile. Smart as donkey. Active as turtle. Fit as hippo. Matured as monkey. Sincerity like dog. No doubt you are my good friend

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Someone asked what makes people happy. Some said wealth & some fame. I was thinkin abt it & my cell beeped n received ur sms. I smiled n said "This makes me happy".

Like and love are two different things. Like is when you know the best side of someone and like them. Love is when you know the worst side that someone could ever have, and you still love that person with everything you have in your heart.

Though we don't meet or talk often, I never forget that I have you in my life. Somewhere, somehow, I remember you. Still bear in mind, I'm always here, not so near but never that far.